my heart tonight
this song is eerily appropriate
Hi, haven’t been here in a while. In my feelings this morning. Here ya go.
Girl, love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself.
Love yourself too.
Love yourself to life.
I used to LIVE on tumblr.
I don’t even know where my head is at anymore. I wish that depression and anxiety didn’t make up my life. I have to believe that I’ll make it back out. I’ve done it many times before and I’ll do it again. If I ever felt like I was in purgatory before I sure as hell feel it now. I’m in between all the time.
I’m looking for feeling and the things that make me happy but I feel almost totally numb and disconnected. I don’t like or want that anymore.
I don’t know how to build my home in myself and in the place where I am in and the important and good people in my life. I don’t know how to make that enough. I’m trying but something is missing. Existing is a mess. I think I’ve been this way for a year. Usually I get a 3-6 month breaks where I feel healthy mind and body.
Gotta find my way.
Standing outside waiting for Peter Pan to get off work. I heard an instrument and looked up but it was another Peter Pan man playing another instrument.
She is not ‘my girl.’
She belongs to herself. And I am blessed, for with all her freedom, she still comes back to me, moment-to-moment, day-by-day, night-by-night.
How much more blessed can I be?
Define loneliness?
Yes.
It’s what we can’t do for each other.
Only signed on to quickly post that I miss my old roommate. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had here. A shit day on either end was remedied by our kitchen-to-porch-to-kitchen-to-porch-to-sometimes-livingroom conversations. Along with living under the same roof, he had became a symbol of home for me. I had an awareness of this but I couldn’t know how valuable our friendship had been until I left that house and then he left that house. Yeah. I’m going to miss you too, dude.
I’m so inclined to get more intentional with the writing but I’m going to save that for myself to flesh out later and, maybe, share another time.
The Present, A Touching Animated Short Film About a Boy and His New Dog
Good one.
—
A good last thing to reblog before social media/Internet entertainment hiatus. For at least until I graduate I guess. I’m not feeling mentally strong enough to forgo without a physical post holding me accountable.
So here it is brain! Here’s your check. The Internet will be here when you get back. Go prioritize and work hard. We know this. We’ve done this before and are so capable of choosing the way we experience and give life to life.